My Gun Is Quick

That Mike Hammer guy! What a kidder, eh?

But seriously folks…

I’m a lover of roman noir, the written equivalent of film noir (of which I am also a fan), a love that started in college when I first read The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler. Cornell Woolrich remains by far my favorite of the roman noir authors, but I talk about the creepy old boy enough already.

Of all the “Old Masters” of noir, the most divisive and controversial is Mickey Spillane, who created the toughest, meanest, most vindicative P.I. of them all, Mike Hammer, in his classic 1947 novel I, the Jury, the title of which neatly sums of the character’s attitude. I’ve read almost all the classic Hammer novels, just finishing up My Gun Is Quick (1950) today, leaving only Vengeance Is Mine! to go, so I think I have a good grasp on the big unloveable lug. Quite a lot of people hate these books, even people who love noir, and it’s easy to see why. Hammer’s aggressive vigilantism and ruthless self-righteousness as he pursues his bloody revenge in his cases (it’s always about revenge in a Hammer novel) is near-fascistic in its POV. And the books are bloody unpleasant and extremely nasty. They were criticized heavily in their day for their lurid sexuality, which seems ridiculous today, when they are criticized for their unpleasant vigilante sensationalism and extreme political incorrectness.

Damn though, the books are a visceral charge to read. And I’m saying that as the liberal socialist that I am. But I am fortunate that I can divorce my intellectual reaction from my persepctive as a writer who appreciates the fantasy into which Spillane can thrust me. Mike Hammer’s world is perfectly noir: it’s so corrupt and sleazy you can see it corroding before your eyes. Hammer’s code of ethics is repugnant in the real world (as is Frank Castle’s, the Punisher), but it makes total sense in the Spillane world. Loyalty doesn’t exists, everyone murders and backstabs, and only someone with Hammer’s nasty streak and myopic vision of justice at the end of a .45 could possibly survive. Spillane also knows how to build tension, he writes great action scenes, has some astonishing tough-guy descriptions, and always brings down the house with an apocalyptic curtain-closer. My Gun Is Quick, the second of the books, has all the right elements as Hammer pursues revenge for the death of a prostitute he briefly befriended in bar, and ends up ripping open the whole nasty vice busines across the city of New York. I knew fairly early on who the ultimate villain would be, so the final twist wasn’t a real shocker, but the fiery, gibbering, feverish finale is a true pulse-quickener. (However, Hammer seems to have the supernatural ability to explain the whole plot to the killer in the last moments without skipping a beat even though a burning building is crashing down around them. Spillane once wrote comic books, which might explain why his novel characters seem so chatty in the midst of violent action.)

Just a quick choice quote from the book:

He couldn’t lose me now or ever. I was the guy with the cowl and the scythe. I had a hundred and forty black horses under me and an hourglass in my hand, laughing like crazy until the tears rolled down my cheeks.

Ironically, the best Mike Hammer movie—indeed, one of my favorite films of all time—is the very one that turned Hammer upside down and made him a real cheap thug no better than those he pursues: Kiss Me, Deadly (1955). Director Robert Aldrich also took the idea of a Spillane “apocalyptic” ending rather literally…and made all of Spillane’s actual endings seem a bit paltry.

But that’s a discussion for another post.